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Also, you end up being in the same classes with these people for years, so if you hook up in your first few months and it doesn't work out, you're stuck asks why you didn't go to medical school but they do that to women too.

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MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. If you'd prefer to take your relationship slow, don't worry — you have every reason to. Set reasonable boundaries and communicate your wishes to your partner clearly to control the pace of your relationship.

Only take things to the "next level" when you're ready. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.


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Eine Beziehung langsam angehen. Look for a partner who has the same priorities as you. Your choice of partner is the most important factor in practically any relationship. However, when you're set on taking a relationship slowly, it's even more important than normal. You want someone who can respect your choice to limit your intimacy. This should be a person who isn't only focused on the physical aspects of a relationship.

You want someone who's more interested in your thoughts than your body. You can find people who meet these criteria anywhere. However, you may have the most success if you try places where people like this are likely to gather. For example, since many religions teach that sex before marriage should be avoided, you may find good potential partners in religious youth groups and so on. Don't define your relationship in terms of "how far" you've gone. The things you've done with your partner, especially when it comes to physical affection and sex, aren't measures of how "good" your relationship is.

At this stage, the most important thing is how you and your partner feel. If you both enjoy each others' company, you're affectionate, and you have open, caring attitudes towards each other, you're doing fine. Keep in mind that not everyone will agree with this. Some people have different priorities for their relationships. It's OK to disagree with these people. If you're happy with your relationship, so you don't need to let them pressure you into things you're not comfortable with.

How to Take a Relationship Slowly

On the other hand, they're not automatically shallow just because they want different things than you, so try to stay respectful. Set physical boundaries early on. Be clear and explicit about what you are and aren't comfortable with. It can be a big turn-off if your physical limits come as a surprise to your partner in the "heat of the moment," so take the opportunity to be up-front before you start getting affectionate. If your partner won't listen to repeated warnings, it's time to have a serious discussion about respecting your boundaries. Keep the end goal in mind.

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It's a good idea to have an idea of where you want your relationship to be eventually, even if you're not there yet. You can gradually work towards this goal, making week-by-week progress as you take small steps toward it. If you don't have an end in mind for your relationship, it can be harder to justify your slow pace to a partner. If you are a teen or pre-teen, having an end goal of "spending lots of time being affectionate with each other" is fine. There's no need to worry about "the L word" or marriage for a long time.


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If you're older, it's wise to know whether you plan to end up married, cohabiting, having children, and so on. This makes it easier to find a partner who's right for you and get rid of ones who aren't. Plus, most adults who are willing to wait a long time to become physically intimate are interested in marriage or life-long relationships.

Enjoy affectionate outings at your own pace. Just because you're taking things slow doesn't mean you can't have fun.

How To Take Things Slow Without Losing His Interest | MadameNoire

Take time to go out, explore the world, and treat each other to small luxuries. In other words, date! There's no "right" way to do this. A person worthy of becoming your full-time lover will appreciate it. Using your words will usually work.

7 Subtle Signs He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend

Falling for someone is a great feeling, but it can be scary. Home Love Dating Good Vibes 6 ways to take things slow in a relationship without stringing someone along. Karen Fratti August 17, 1: You can go slow without stringing someone along.